rage Issue 5 - The Far side

Mystic meg gets her Tarrot's out, and shuffles your pack ? What will the future foretell ? will Oasis's 2nd LP really be that tricky, will Tricky end up on an Oasis ? who cares I just want to know my stars !


Saturn in your opposite sign of Pisces certainly has you galloping around at the moment. You might feel like everything that goes wrong is all your fault, and you should be saying twenty hail marys, but this doesn't mean you should become a hermit this month. It might look glum, but the good news is you'll be seeing, doing and earning more than ever before. This May sound crazy but its true.


Only when the Sun enters your birth sign at the end of this month will you be ready to go for it big time. In the mean time don't have a panic attack and think that others have the upper hand. It is only very temporary , but babe the world is your proverbial oyster and its going to be a rocking good time for the rest of the year.


This summer has either been a feast or a famine. You've either been getting it across the kitchen table big time, or you've been a monk. Whichever way you've been steaming through it and you'll come out roaring the other side. The only thing that will be suffering is your liver!


Your aim this month is to show how totally fab you are, even if it means taking time out to go to the Betty Ford Clinic for a detox. It will take real courage to show the real you, trying to convince the world your warm when really it would prefer you to be colder than an ice-cube. Formulate your own image even if it means going to work in white stilettos guys.


This month should be pretty plain sailing after all the emotional traumas you've been going through. Even Liz Taylor would be impressed at what you've been playing at. You have got to start expressing yourself. It won't happen unless you make it happen as our Liz Hurley would undoubtedly say.


Ok so you are still having nightmares about your bank manager, and so you should. You haven't won the lottery so why are you spending it like you have. Forget the humour and sort out your sorry saga. The Sun in Libra will finally show you that dreams can happen if you lay the foundations properly.


Although you are not expected to pay penance, you better start talking to your loved ones behind closed doors or you ain't going to sort anything out. Neptune and Uranus signify that life could start happening for you again if you just sit down and listen. Don't run headlong into new agreements, or you could find yourself sitting in the pub crying into a beer on your own.


The Sun enters the opposite sign Libra - only then will you admit that you can't rule the world on your own. Its time to team up and get those creative ideas cooking. You might find it difficult to work in harmony with others, but show a little patience and you won't always be the one buying the rounds down your local.


Your confidence might be at bursting point at the mo, but don't take too much for granted. Even Liam Gallagher has his off days and look what happened to our Robbie ex-Take That. Saturn and Pisces dictate that you have got to share your glory, but take all the praise for yourself .


Although you might think you are pretty powerless right now it isn't quite as black as it looks. Even Pulp Fiction had is funny moments and so will your experiences this month. You might feel that all you do this month is sort out lover problems, either your own or others, don't despair. Your orgasm is only just around the corner.


You are always been accused of being a real softie - well things around going to change around here thanks to the planet Mars. People are going to be shocked when you get that big whip out, but boy are you going to profit from it, thanks to simple self confidence.


This month isn't exactly going to be a sunny one, thanks to those little brown envelopes that drop through the door, and I'm not talking Swedish porn here. If you can carry on laughing, however, you will get through and you could still end up partying instead of contemplating concrete welly treatment on yourself.

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